Punch line
by Bat-teen 28
Summary: A group of Jester one shots. They are manly all going to be funny. Please R and R.
1. Chapter 1 Anger management

Anger management.

* * *

Jester was not a normal girl by any stretch of the imagination. Nor did she look normal.

She looked like a clown, which was a good thing considering.

Jester, though, did like normal days. She didn't care who she spent them with as long as they did something normal.

Today was one of those days when Jester decided it was time for a normal day and she knew exactly who she was going to spend it with.

Grinning evilly she grabbed a purple hoodie from her wardrobe and slipped it over a her black smily t-shirt.

The yellow smile glowed next to the purple fabric of the hoodie.

Jester then slipped on a pair of black skinny jeans and a pair of bright, almost neon green trainers.

Grabbing her back pack, she slipped her goggles, costume, weapons and purse into it.

Then she walked into the kitchen, picked up the frying pan and slipped that into her back pack too.

Jester walked out and locked the door, grinning as she put her keys away.

Then her phone buzzed in her pocket.

Pulling it out she looked to see what was the matter and there it said in bright glowing letters.

_I've been caught again. Better luck next time I guess._

Jester sighed and ran a hand through her black and white hair. "You really should be more careful Alice." she muttered to herself before slipping her phone in her pocket.

Looking around to make sure nobody was there, Jester pulled the hood of her hoodie up so she could hide her strange looks and walk around with no hassle.

Walking through the crowd of stupid Gothamites, Jester finally reached the apartment building she was heading for.

It was the best apartment building in the city but the person who lived there wouldn't have it any other way.

Jester walked around to the back of the building to see the exit was guarded by two very big men.

Jester smirked a little. "Too easy, little, fancy hotel. I was hoping for a more challenging set of guards.

Jester walked over to them, keeping her head down so they wouldn't react to her.

"What are you doing down here kid?" asked one of the guards.

"just walking up here." said Jester grinning.

The guards narrowed their eyes. "Why are you up here?"

"I had a bit of a bad hair day. Heard there was an epic hair salon up here. You wouldn't happen to know where it is would you?" asked Jester as she got her bag of marbles out.

The guards chuckled. "Bad hair day? Ha. I didn't know there was hair salon up here. Say do you mind us looking, Ya' know, so we can have a bit of a laugh."

Jester giggled. "Not at all." then she pulled her hood down and grinned at the guards who stared at her in shock.

Jester smiled. "As you can see, I went over the top with the black and white colouring. I was careful but not careful enough."

The guards got ready to get their guns out.

Jester frowned. "You don't seem to be laughing." then she grinned. "Perhaps I could help with that?"

Then she threw a marble onto the floor and it burst with green smoke.

At first the guards where choking then they started to laugh and finally they fell to the floor.

Jester frowned. "Don't I get a standing ovation? I thought that was a first class performance." She began to giggle and shrugged. "Aw well. Tough crowd I guess."

Jester walked up to the door. "And now for my next trick!" she kicked it in on it's self and it flew open.

Jester grinned. "You would of thought that a apartment building this good would have better security."

Jester walked up the may flights of stairs till she got to the floor she wanted.

Jester opened the door and pulled her hood up over her face so no one could see her odd appearance.

Walking over to the door she wanted Jester.

Grinning she knocked on the door.

She heard a bit of a scuffle come from inside before. "Who is it?"

Jester smiled to herself. "Jess." she said.

There was a pause before. "Jess who?"

Jester grinned and kicked the door in shouting. "Jess-Ter!"

Jester grinned at the shocked expression on the mans face. Then that shock turned into annoyance and then anger.

"What do you want?" he hissed.

Jester frowned. "Oh come on Eddie! Is that any way to say Hiya to your bestest, friend in the whole wide world?"

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Since when have you been my best friend?"

Jester grinned. "Since always!"

Edward stared at her before shaking his head. "You are insane, to think that I would even consider you a friend and will you put the door back on it's hinges!"

Jester sighed, picked the door up and leaned it against the frame.

"What are you doing here Jester?" asked Edward as he sat on his seat tinkering with some electric gizmo.

"I was wondering if you wanted to head out onto the town with me?" said Jester smiling as she sat opposite him.

Edward looked up at her. "And why would I want to do that?"

Jester grinned. "Because you get to spend some time with me!"

Edward frowned. "No, sorry. You'll need another reason."

Jester looked hurt. "But what's better then spending a day with me?"

"Do you want a list?" asked Edward going back to his electric gizmo.

Jester frowned and slowly walked over to him. "Edward, Edward, Edward. You should know better then to get me angry."

Edward spun around to try and stop her but it was too late. Jester already had the frying pan out and struck him as hard as she could.

Edward fell off his seat and lay there unconscious.

Jester stood there shaking her head. "He never learns."

THE END.


	2. Chapter 2 Sweet memories

Sweet memories.

* * *

Everyone in Gotham knew not to give Jester sugar.

It was a rule in the villain's world. True, it was an unspoken rule but a rule non the less.

Jester was a hyper being so sugar didn't mix well with her.

But the problem was, Jester loved sugar so always tried to get it.

The rogues would try to stop her but she always managed to get some.

After she had had the sugar, Jester would visit a rogue and go nuts.

Unfortunately, it was Edward's turn to deal with a sugar full Jester.

Edward glanced over at the kid as she jumped up and down in front of him grinning.

Edward sighed. "If you keep doing that you'll wear a hole into the carpet."

Jester giggled. "I know. I want to see how deep I can go!"

Edward sighed again and put his head in his hands. It had been a mistake. A terrible mistake, to take Jester to the sweet shop. Why had he done it? What in his genius and brilliantly smart mind told him that taking Jester to the sweet shop was a good idea?

* * *

_Jester's eyes went wide when she saw all of the different coloured sweets._

_She loved sweets. She loved sugar._

_Grinning from ear to ear Jester raced down the shelves as fast as she could picking up sweet box after sweet box._

_Edward just stared at her in shock. He hadn't seen her run so fast. Even they were being shot at, Jester didn't move that quickly._

_"What have I done?" muttered Edward as he ran after her._

_He turned a corner and he came face to face with Jester._

_"Eddie! Eddie, EDDIE, EDDIE EDDIE! I have found the thing I want! The ultimate sweet!" cried Jester jumping up and down._

_She had only smelled the scent of the sweets and she was higher then a kite._

_Edward sighed. "Which one is it?" he asked._

_Jester grinned and pointed at a huge statue made out of every single sweet there was in existence._

_Edward's eyes widened in fear and dread._

_"Can I have it? Can I, can I , can I, can I?" asked Jester jumping up and down._

_"Jester…." said Edward staring at the sweet monstrosity. "I don't think that you should have it."_

_Jester frowned. "But you said I could have anything I wanted. ANYTHING!"_

_Edward sighed. "Yes. But that was because I was thinking you would pick something a little bit smaller."_

_Jester stared at him. "Me? Pick something small?"_

_Edward sighed. "Yes and I can now see it was a stupid thought. You are way to greedy to pick anything small."_

_Edward turned to walk away, when Jester grabbed his arm and stared at him. "I have to have it Edward! Look how many sweets are on it!"_

_Edward was looking. Looking and dreading what would happen if he let Jester have it._

_"I said you can't have it Jester. So you can't…" Edward looked at Jester to see she had given him 'the face'. The face that always got her what she wanted._

_Edward stared at her. "You can't have… I mean it… Stop giving me that look!"_

_Jester didn't but instead intended it._

_Edward sighed. "I said you can't… Oh fine. Get it and then lets go home."_

_Jester squealed with delight and raced off to get it, leaving Edward standing in the middle of the sweet shop, hitting himself silly in his mind._

* * *

Why had he done it? He knew the kid would go crazy.

"Say Eddie. Do you want some?" asked Jester holding a piece of his favourite chocolate in her hands.

Edward stared at her.

Resist it Edward. Resist it. You know it looks so lovely and nice and you know it will taste delicious but resist-

"Yes please Jester." said Edward as he stilled over to her.

Jester grinned and gave him the piece of chocolate. "Here. You can come and have some with me." she said pointing to all of the sweets.

Edward stared at it and began to smile. Maybe today wasn't that bad.

THE END.


	3. Chapter 3 Names

Names through history.

* * *

Jester sat on an old gargoyle staring out at Arkham City.

Jester sniggered to herself. Arkham City, Death City, City of madness and her favourite City of Hell. They were the many names Arkham City was known as.

Jester grinned to herself when she realised that she almost had as many names as the City.

* * *

She started life as Jessica Turner. A normal kid with a normal life. A family that loved her and a sister she loved more then the whole world.

* * *

Jester jumped off the gargoyle to the floor below and started running.

* * *

Jessica Turner, now there was name.

* * *

Jester ran to the court house and sneaked inside.

"30 days have September, April, June and November…."

Jester paused and looked down the corridor for the old cells.

Julian Day, now there's a name. A name she would never forget.

* * *

Julian killed Jessica Turner's life as she knew it. Her childhood died the moment he slit her mother's throat.

She remembered how scared she was and how terrified her mother was. Her sister didn't seem to care.

But Sasha was always odd.

* * *

Jester shook her head to get rid of that memory. "Some things just aren't worth remembering." she muttered to herself as she left the court house.

Out side in the cold air of Arkham Jester could feel the memories leaving her mind.

Grinning she climbed up the building and jumped across the roofs towards the steel mill.

Once she was there it was nice to be around the thugs she knew and were friends with.

She knew what it was like to be a little guy so she didn't boss them around too much.

"Hey, Jest, what Ya' doing?" shouted one of the thugs.

Jester grinned. "Oh you know me Mikey, I'm always up to something. I can't stop I'm afraid, just passing through. Goodbye and watch out for those flying rodents."

Mikey chuckled. "You too Jest, You too. See Ya' Twitch!"

Jester smiled and walked off.

* * *

Twitch. Another brilliant name.

She was given it when she hot-wired cars. Something, in the old days, she did a lot. The problem was she did it to often and she began to twitch whenever she saw a car, just in anticipation of getting it. Plus whenever she was nervous or overconfident she would begin to twitch then too and so Twitch was born.

* * *

Jester giggled to herself. "So many names, so hard to keep track which one I am."

Jester walked down out of the steel mill and headed to the Iceberg Lounge. She was still on friendly terms with Ozzie he would still let her in.

Grinning Jester walked into the Iceberg Lounge and sat in her favourite spot.

Jester pulled a pack of cards out of her pocket and began to shuffle them.

"A little young to be in here aren't you Jester?"

Jester grinned and looked up at Edward Nigma, or the Riddler to most people but to her, he was Eddie.

"I'm a criminal Eddie. Does it look like a follow rules?" she said grinning.

Edward smiled a tiny bit and sat with her. "Any reason you have your cards out?" he asked.

Jester shrugged. "No. Just looking at them."

On the other side of the Lounge they heard one of the thugs say to his friend. "You're Ace man!"

Jester giggled to herself. "I thought I was Ace."

Edward looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

Jester smiled. "Here, I'll explain. Before I got pushed into that vat of chemicals I used to be called Ace by the gypsies I lived with. They called me that because I was brilliant at cards and I always beat them. I was Ace. Ace at many things. My sister got nick named Mask because she was always hiding behind one. She collected them too, had a bit of an obsession about them. So she was Mask and I was Ace."

Edward stared at her. "I never knew that."

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me Eddie. I'm a mystery and a pretty good one if you ask me." said Jester grinning.

"I wasn't. But I would have to agree with you. You have had a lot of names haven't you?" said Edward picking up a card from Jester's deck.

"Everyone gets given nick names Eddie." said Jester as she pulled the Queen of Clubs from the deck.

"Yes. That is true. Broken reflection, that's what Scarecrow calls you. Little Queen of Clubs, that's what Jervis calls you. Croc calls you Baby 'J'. Joker calls you Kiddo'. Harley calls you Humbug. Switch calls you Neon. Deadshot calls you Punch Line. The list is endless. How do you cope?" asked Edward.

Jester smiled. "You just get used to what people call you. Besides I like it. I like the nick names."

"More names to hide behind?" asked Edward placing the card back on the deck.

Jester grinned "Exactly."

Edward smiled. "So many names. So many personalities. It's amazing that you've managed to get this far without mixing them up."

Jester smiled. "It is isn't it? Any how I must be off. T.T.F.N!"

Edward sat there and watched Jester walk towards the exit. "Goodbye little trouble maker. Look after yourself and don't live up to the nick name I've given you."

Jester grinned at him. "I'll try."

* * *

Jester ,after a long time of walking, finally found herself at the Ace chemical building. The place where Jester was created.

* * *

She could remember how scared she was, how hurt she was when her sister didn't save her. How much the chemicals burned her skin.

* * *

Jester shook her head. "Go away. Stupid memories!"

"Hello sister dearest."

Jester paused and turned around to see her sister, Sasha but now she was Sorrow.

"Hello Sorrow. What do you want?" asked Jester grabbing her cane.

Sorrow smiled. "I want you buried in the ground." she shouted as she launched herself at her.

It's always like this between us, thought Jester. We always fight like this.

Sorrow and Jester tussled for a bit but Sorrow got the upper hand and stabbed Jester in the shoulder.

Jester cried out but was able to kick her sister off her, get up and jump of the building.

Running alone the roof tops Jester dived through a window into an old shop.

Her skin screamed in pane from the broken bits of glass that stuck into her but she couldn't stop, not now.

She ran down the stairs to the ground floor, ran out onto the street and ran.

* * *

She didn't stop running, she's never stop running. She's always running away from her past and her life and her memories.

* * *

Finally she reached her destination.

* * *

"I did tell you to be careful." scolded Edward as he pulled another shard of glass from Jester's leg.

Jester winced. "It wasn't my fault Eddie."

"Can't you do anything without getting into trouble?" asked Edward as he cleaned her cuts.

Jester folded her arms. "I'm a victim of circumstance."

"I can tell."

"It wasn't my fault! I was I supposed to know my insane sister would try to kill me?! Believe it or not Eddie, I don't know when she's planing to do such things. It's not like I have a calendar with all the dates my sister is going to try and kill me." snapped Jester. "Oh look it's October 8th, I bester go to Crime Ally, at seven because my sister will be there at half six and I want to be fashionably late for my near death experience!"

Edward sighed and pulled another shard of glass from her leg. "If you had a middle name it would be trouble maker." he muttered.

Jester glared at him. "And yours would be self absorbed idiot!" she snapped at him.

Edward glared at her.

"Or ego maniac!" Jester yelled at him.

Edward slapped the back of her head. "Watch your mouth Jessica."

Jester giggled but it was dark and Edward didn't like it. "Edward. Jessica's dead. Jester is the only one left now. Remember that."

* * *

Jester was out on the streets again beating up some poor idiot.

She enjoyed all of the different nick names, she enjoyed all of the different people she had been, but Jester was her favourite.

THE END.


	4. Chapter 4 Broken reflection

Broken reflection.

Jester sat in Edward's monitor room staring at all of the screens.

Eddie wasn't in, which was a first, so Jester decided to wait for him.

Looking around she spotted a book on the floor which was a riddle book.

Jester grinned. "So this is where he gets all of those crafty riddles from."

Picking it up she began to read it to pass the time.

"Jester what are you doing here?"

Jester jumped and turned to see Edward walking in holding a bag of chines food.

"Oh, so you went out to get food. That explains your absence. I just decided to pop round for a little chat, that's all." said Jester smiling as Edward put the food down.

"Who's bothering you?" asked Edward as he crossed his arms.

Jester blinked a couple of times. "N-no body."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Now that is a lie if ever I heard one."

Jester grinned. "Ask me no questions, Eddie and I'll tell you no lies."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Who do you want me to find?"

Jester sighed in defete. "Can you find Catwoman for me? She stole some diamonds from my boss and now he is real angry."

"What's the real reason you want me to find Selina?" asked Edward as walked over to her.

Jester looked at the floor. "How do you know that's not the real reason?"

Edward sighed. "Jester I know you. Now why do you need to find Selina?"

Jester looked up. "I had an encounter with Black Mask."

Edward went wide eyed. He knew what Jester was like around Black Mask. Not that he could blame her, the guy did throw her into a vat of chemicals.

Jester rubbed her arm. "He… he got to me a little Eddie. He made me relive the whole experience in my mind. It's knocked my confidence, maybe I would've been better drowning in that vat."

Edward stared at her. He had never seen Jester so broken….. so helpless. She was always the one to be full of life and all ways smiling no matter what happened. But seeing her like this, it made a part of himself he long thought dead hurt.

"Jester….. Jessica, Black Mask is…. he just doesn't have a sense of humour. Maybe you should try and stay away from him because he will keep on using that moment in your life to hurt you." said Edward as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

Jester sighed and looked at the floor. "I need to find Selina, Eddie. She can help me regain my confidence."

Edward nodded. "Alright I'll look for her. Do you want to stay here for a bit?"

Jester looked up at him and smiled. "I'd like that very much."

Edward nodded and smiled. "There's a spare room through there. I'll look for Selina and I'll tell you when I find."

Jester smiled and got up to leave to the spare room. "Hey Eddie."

Edward looked up. "Yes Jester?"

"It's funny. I've figured out why Jonny calls me broken reflection." Jester looked up at Edward and gave him a sad smile. "It's because I am one."

And then she walked into the monitor room, leaving Edward standing there, heart broken, as he watched the young girl walk into the room.


	5. Chapter 5 Walk and talk

Walk and Talk.

* * *

Edward Nigma was standing at the counter waiting for the two drinks he had ordered.

"Here you are sir. Your extra strong expresso and….. chocolate frappachino?" said the waitress.

"That's mine!" shouted Jester as she grabbed the frappachino from the girls hand and walked out of the coffee shop.

Edward sighed. "Sorry about that. My little sister doesn't have any manners, I'm trying to teach her some." he said as he picked up his expresso.

The girl smiled. "It's fine sir. Believe it or not, I've had to deal with worse. Have a nice day."

Edward gave a small smile, but it was hardly genuine, nodded at the girl and walked out of the coffee shop.

Jester was standing there, with her hood up tapping her foot on the ground. "What took you so long?"

"Manners." Edward replied as he walked past Jester.

Jester rolled her eyes. "Manners are over rated. Say Eddie what are we doing tonight?"

Edward sighed. "I'm doing nothing. I'm just going to be at home relaxing."

Jester rolled her eyes. "Boooaarrrinnng! Edward you need to do something else. Why don't you pay Sphinx a visit? I'm sure she would appreciate the company."

Edward took a sip of his expresso. "Me and Sphinx didn't part on friendly terms last time I saw her."

Jester smiled. "It was only a lovers tiff. She'll get over it."

Edward narrowed his eyes. "It was not a lovers tiff. For a start I do not love her so it couldn't of been one."

Jester giggled. "Keep telling yourself that."

Edward glared at her. "Oh and who was it I saw flirting with the Boy Blunder on our last heist hhmmm?"

Jester blushed, which was hilarious because her white skin made it more prominent. "I wasn't flirting! I was just…" Jester looked up at Edward who raised an eyebrow expectantly.

Jester frowned. "Fine. Yes I was flirting."

Edward smirked. "Told you you were."

"Yeah but you were flirting with Sphinx!" cried Jester.

"I was not flirting with her." Edward snapped.

Jester smirked. "Whatever helps you cope."

Edward rolled his eyes but said nothing more.

They walked down crime ally to the narrows. It was where they lived and it wasn't much but to them it was home.

"So are you going to see Sphinx?" asked Jester taking a sip of her frapperchino.

"How many time must I say it? We didn't part on friendly terms!" shouted Edward.

Jester giggled. "Romantic terms then?"

Edward smacked her on the back of the head and Jester knew not to take the conversation further.

Walking past the iceberg lounge Jester and Edward had to run for cover when they saw a black shadow jump over the roof above them.

"What's he doing down here?" muttered Jester as she glared at the roof top.

Edward stared at her. "You have got to be kidding me?! This is the narrows. This is the bad part of Gotham were the crime rate population is almost as high as it's cockroach!"

Jester giggled. "You just told a joke Eddie."

Edward glanced at her. "I tell riddles, Jester, not jokes. Besides, it was hardly a joke."

Jester grinned. "I guess you're right. But I still found it funny."

Edward smiled at Jester. She was a messed up little puppy but she was nice to be around. Sometimes.

"We better get back to the hideout. I don't want to be caught by the Dork Knight." said Jester grinning.

The two rogues walked down the allys till they reached home sweet home.

Jester went to her part of the hideout and Edward went back to his machines. They didn't bother with each other after that, because they both knew that is they did, they would probably kill each other out of annoyance.

THE END.


	6. Chapter 6 Tea party

Mad as hatter? I think I'm madder.

* * *

Knock, knock, knock.

Jervis was surprised that someone was knocking on his door.

Getting up he opened it and was greeted by a smiling Jester.

The girl grinned at him and said. "Is there room at your table for little ol' me?"

Jervis grinned and nodded his head. "Of course, Little Queen of Clubs! Come on in!"

Jester grinned and walked inside smiling like a maniac. "So then, where should I sit?"

"Any where you want, my dear Queen of Clubs. I learnt to let the ladies sit where they like after an unfortunate encounter with the Red Queen." said Jervis sitting at the head of the table.

Jester rose an eyebrow. "Since when did Ivy come to your tea parties?"

"A few weeks ago I invited everyone here to celebrate that Clown's Alice birthday." said Jervis.

"Oh yes, I remember. I couldn't make it due to the fact I was locked up in an insane asylum. Right carry on." said Jester.

Jervis nodded. "Well, you see. Me and the Red Queen got into a fight and she won. But only because I would never strike a woman. Tea?"

Jester stared at him. "Err, yes. But 've killed women."

Jervis grinned. "I said I would never strike a woman. I never said I wouldn't kill one."

Jester sighed. "True. But I think they would prefer the striking."

Jervis sighed. "Yes, well, it is un gentleman like to strike a lady, so I do not. Do you want cream or milk?"

"Err milk please. So you think that killing a lady is more gentleman like?" asked Jester raising an eyebrow.

Jervis nodded his head. "Oh but of course. They don't suffer any pain, it's just short sharp and sweet. Sugar?"

Jester sighed. "You maybe right I guess. Oh err yes ple-"

"Actually no. I don't think you should have any sugar. I heard about that little incident with you and Edward and sugar. I do not wish to have the same. No sugar for you Jester." said Jervis hiding the sugar.

Jester sighed. "Spoil sport. So….. how goes the Alice hunting?"

Jervis frowned handing her a cup. "I beg your pardon, I do not know what you are talking about."

Jester took the cup off him and giggled. "I mean. Have you found Alice yet?"

Jervis shook his head. "No, no. But I have heard that Doormouse has found his Alice, in the form of a lion, which is almost mixed with a griffin, because of it's wings."

Jester chuckled. "News travels fast I see. But yes, you're right. But I do feel sorry for Sphinx, I mean Edward…. I don't know if I would want his love or not."

"I do not believe it to be love… more like obsession." said Jervis shaking his head. "The man doesn't know what real love is, but it is hardly surprising. How could he know what it is, he never had any given to him. I don't know how he managed to cope."

"Well, he didn't did he Jerv'? I mean it obviously effected him because he's one of us now isn't he?" said Jester as she took a sip of her tea.

Jervis nodded his head as he poured some tea into a cup. "Very true, very true. How is the Crow by the way?"

"Jonathan? Don't know. Haven't seen him, so I couldn't tell Ya'. Why are you asking?" asked Jester as she sneaked a biscuit.

"Just curious. I have not seen any of our merry band in ages. So I am simply checking up on them." said Jervis nibbling at a biscuit.

"Didn't know you cared." said Jester laughing.

Jervis smiled. "I take it the clown is okay."

"The J man is always okay. Especially now he's got Harley back to boss around." said Jester grinning.

"How is the….. Jabawok?" asked Jervis.

"Which one?" asked Jester sipping at her tea again.

"The green one." said Jervis licking his lips.

Jester smiled. "Oh, Waylon's fine. You know what Croc's like. Always going out for dinner. Walks around the streets and finds the best fast food place Gotham has to offer that night. He barely ever eats in, but I guess it's because not many people go down into the sewers. I asked him how fast his fast food was and he said not fast enough." Jester burst out laughing then.

Jervis sighed. "And people say I'm mad."

"Jervis. Mad as a hatter? I think I'm madder!" said Jester giggling.

"No doubt in that." said Jervis filling his cup up again. "How are the other two Jabawoks?"

"Oh. Well…. Man Bat…. I think he's okay. I haven't really spoken to him much so I don't really know. Plus it is hard to talk to someone when they're part bat. Bane…. I haven't seen him. Not that I go looking for him. I like him and all, but he can be way to serious." said Jester with a shrug.

"Surly everyone's too serious for you little Queen of Clubs." said Jervis smiling.

"Now, now, Jerv'. I do have some responsibilities. Not many, granted, but I do have a few." said Jester sneaking another biscuit.

"Oh of course you do. How is the Red Queen?" asked Jervis. "Oh and the Cheshier Cat?"

"Both are fine. Ivy is, well, being Ivy and Catwoman is out stealing a rare diamond tonight, I think." said Jester with a shrug.

"How is it you find these things out little Queen of Clubs?" asked Jervis picking up another biscuit.

Jester grinned. "I have very good ears." she said as she picked up a biscuit.

"Jester! I told you, you're not aloud sugar!" shouted Jervis.

Jester sighed. "This is my forth or fifth one already."

"What?!" shrieked Jervis.

"Chill out Jerv. I won't go completely mad." said Jester giggling.

"I'm afraid to say, my dear, but I think you've already gone." said Jervis.

* * *

Later that day Edward came round and was greeted by, in his eyes, two babbling laughing fools.

He stared at Jester and Jervis as they laughed and giggled and quoted Alice in Wonderland.

Edward didn't know Jester knew anything about Alice in Wonderland, let alone quotes.

Edward sighed and shook his head. "I don't even want to know." he muttered to himself and then he shut the door on Wonderland.


	7. Chapter 7 Trick or Treat

Trick or Treat?

* * *

Jester walked around the asylum grinning. It was Halloween. Here second favourite holiday.

Grinning she pulled her mask she had made in the arts and crafts sessions and skipped down the corridor.

Running up to the first cell she knocked on the door.

Harley opened it and grinned. "You look great Humbug! Super spooky!"

Jester grinned. "Thanks Harley. Trick or Treat?"

Harley grinned and pulled a box of candy out of her cell and gave it to Jester.

The girl grinned and put in her bag she was carrying with her. "Thank you Harley. Happy Halloween."

"You too Humbug. You too." said Harley as she shut her door.

Jester smiled and skipped to the next door.

Ivy opened it and raised and eyebrow at Jester.

"Trick or Treat!" shouted Jester grinning.

Ivy smiled a tiny bit. "I don't have any candy this year Jester but I do have a pumpkin."

Jester grinned. "That'd be great Ivy!"

Ivy smiled and handed her the pumpkin. "Here you are."

Jester placed it in her bag. "Thanks Ivy. Happy Halloween!"

Ivy smiled and shook her head as she closed the door to her cell.

Jester then went to the next door.

Edward opened it this time, his eyebrow raised. "I can't believe the guards let you do this."

Jester shrugged. "Trick or Treat Eddie. What's it going to be?"

Edward shook his head and placed a choker with a 'J' hanging off it in the bag. "Treat." he said.

Jester went wide eyed. "Wow! Thanks Eddie!" she cried as she gave him a hug.

Edward sighed. "Jester I have a reputation and you are not helping it. Let go of me."

Jester sighed. "Okay. Thanks Eddie, Happy Halloween!" she cried as she skipped off.

Edward just stood there shaking his head. "How did someone who is so nice end up in here?"

Jester got to the next door and knocked.

Jervis opened it and grinned. "You look brilliant little Queen of Clubs. Here are you treats." he said as he placed them in the bag.

Jester frowned. "Jervis. You do this every year. I keep telling you, you have to wait for me to say trick or treat before you give me the candy."

Jervis frowned. "Oh I'm sorry Jester. Have you seen Alice?"

Jester sighed. "No Jervis I haven't. Happy Halloween."

Jester skipped to the next door and knocked.

Scarecrow opened the door placed the candy in the bag and shut the door again.

Jester sighed. "Well, I guess I should be glad he opened the door and actually gave me something this time."

Then she walked up to the next door.

"What are you doing Jester?" asked Cash.

Jester gulped. "Hahaha! It's Halloween Cash. I'm having a bit of fun. Any way I need to go to my cell now, I've done my trick or treating. See Ya later."

And then Jester ran to her cell and locked the door.

When she was there she sat down emptied her bag and hid all of the stuff, apart from Eddie's treat, she put that on.

Grinning to herself as she laid down on her bed she couldn't help but think, I wonder what next year's trick or treating at Arkham will be like?

THE END.


	8. Chapter 8 Family matters

Family matters.

* * *

"I'm not helping you Sasha!" shouted Jester as she slammed her fist on the table at the iceberg Lounge.

Sasha sighed. Why did her sister have to be so difficult? It's not like she didn't help her escape Black Mask and then helped him throw her into a vat of chemicals. Oh wait. She did.

"Look, sis' I need your help. It's serious." said Sasha.

Jester glared. "You do not have the right to call me 'sis' or sister or anything to do with a connection like that! Need I remind you. We are not friends. Or sisters for that matter."

Sasha sighed. "Look. It's not that I don't like. Oh no that's not it, I don't like you at all…. Err what was I going to say?"

Jester clenched her teeth. "Sasha. Leave me alone!"

Sasha glared at her. "My name is Sorrow! Jessica!"

Jester slammed her hands on the table again. "As mine is Jester!"

Sorrow sighed and pulled her mask off her face to revile the mess the acid had left.

Jester grimaced at the sight. You couldn't see the small scar she had inflicted on her sister when she got angry. She found a burning candle and shoved it into her sisters face.

"Look. Jester. I need your help. It's important." said Sasha as she took a sip of her soda.

"It's important to you, you mean?" said Jester as she stretched.

"Why are you being difficult?" hissed Sasha.

"News flash Sasha. I don't like you either!" snapped Jester as she took a sip of her soda. "I hate you and I hate Black Mask and I want you both napping in the ground!"

Sasha bit back her rage. "Listen you little brat. It's the least you could do!"

"Like the least you could've done was save me from Black Mask, but oh look, you didn't." said Jester as she got up to leave.

Sasha glared at her sister. "We're sisters, Jessica. No amount of chemicals and acid can change that fact."

Jester sighed. "Yes but, betrayal can do a lot of damage."

Sasha sighed and got up to follow her. "Look. I'm sorry for what happened."

Jester clenched her fists. "No you're not! You're just trying to get on my good side, well it won't work! I've grown cold to your heart aches Sister dearest." Sasha glared at Jester as she cracked her knuckles. "And I don't turn to putty in your hands anymore. Things change. I've changed. I don't need you to help me get up things anymore Sasha, I can do that on my own. Like getting into trouble I can do that really well, I don't need help. Especially from you."

Sasha watched as her sister left the Lounge and part of her wished she had stopped Black Mask but a bigger part wished she'd helped him to finish her off.


	9. Chapter 9 Me and my shadow

Me and my shadow. My note: Switch is in it once again. She belongs to Sword Stitcher. I hope you like it and please check sword stitcher out she is amazing! Any way, Switch got a little bit curios.

* * *

It was true, Jester had many friends. But non were quite the same as Edward Nigma, also known as the Riddler or Enigma.

Jester follows him around where ever he goes.

No one really knows why the kid likes him so much.

Edward often reffers to her as his little shadow.

Jester calls him Big, Brother 'R'.

Switch had seen the two and they were always friendly. True they had their ups and downs but they got on with each other.

She watched them as they chattered about the goings on at Arkham and Strange.

From what she had heard, they both had some nasty dealings with Strange and they both hated him.

Switch had no idea why the two were friends. Their personalities were completely different.

Jester was all about fun, chaos and mischief.

Edward was all about thinking, puzzles and the mind.

The two shouldn't go together but they did.

Switch saw Jester sitting in Riddler's chair and her curiosity got the better of her.

"Neon."

Jester smirked at the nick name Switch was so fond of using for her. "Yeah Smart mouth?"

Switch smiled a tiny bit. "Why are you so close Riddler?"

Jester looked over at her and raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Switch sat on the floor opposite her. "I mean. You're friends with everybody. Yet you seem to be closest with Nigma. Why?"

Jester smiled. "Have you also noticed he's pretty close with me as well?"

Switch nodded her head. "Yeah. He's extremely close to you. Which is odd because, well, I didn't know he could become close with anyone."

Jester smiled. "Me and Eddie have been through a lot together. Always sticking to each other."

"Little shadow." said Switch. Jester raised an eyebrow. Switch continued. "He always calls you little shadow, or trouble maker."

Jester grinned. "There was a time when he called me little sister."

Switch raised and eyebrow. "Why little sister?"

Jester grinned. "When I first started out with the big leagues, well, me and him became a tiny little family. I was little sister and he was my big brother 'R'."

"You still call him that on occasions."

Jester grinned and nodded her head. "I know. He's always been like a brother to me. True he's probabley not the best brother in the world but a brother to me non the less."

Switch frowned. "That still doesn't explain why you two are so close."

Jester grinned and looked down at Switch. "I saved his life once. That's how we met. After that he went looking for me and he found me. I intrigued him and so we became a very strange family. I got caught and Eddie didn't have to, but he broke me out and I hadn't even gotten to Arkham. After that it became a sort of game to us. Me saving him and then he would save me, but it was mostly me saving him."

Switch smirked. "You saved his life? Who did you save him from?"

Jester sighed. "I saved him from Joker. I was working for Joker at the time too, so it was quite a big step up for me."

"Has he saved you from anybody?" asked Switch.

Jester frowned. "He's saved me from three people."

"Oh and who are they?" asked Switch.

Jester sighed. "Black Mask is the main one. Then it's my sister and then it's myself."

Switch frowned. "I get the other two but why does he have to save you from yourself."

"Ask Scarecrow. He's the one that calls me broken reflection." said Jester with a sigh.

Switch bit her lip. "You and Riddler are as thick as thief's."

Jester grinned. "We are aren't we? Oops!"

"What?" asked Switch.

Jester jumped up and grabbed her bag. "I was meant to be stealing him soothing tonight."

Switch raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

Jester picked her cane up. "Really."

Switch frowned. "That doesn't seem like him."

"Switch. You can't tell him about it. It's a surprise. Plus I know this is going to sound strange and all, but can you get me some question mark wrapping paper?"

Switch blinked a couple of times. "Sure but….. why?"

Jester sighed. "It's October 29th tomorrow. That's Eddie's birthday. He hates me for doing it but I always celebrate his birthday."

Switch nodded. "I didn't know it was his birthday to day. Where is he?"

"The same place he is every yeah." said Jester as she pulled her goggles over her eyes.

"And that place is where?" asked Switch.

"Gotham church." said Jester as she loaded her gun.

"And what is he doing there?" asked Switch.

"He's paying his respects to his mother." said Jester.

"His mother?" asked Switch.

"Yes Switch. His mother. Even he had one at one time. Gosh there is so much you need to learn about Eddie." said Jester as she pulled her boots on.

"Okay. That explains the flowers he took with him but it doesn't explain the can of petrol he took with him." said Switch folding her arms. "Why is he taking that.

Jester glanced up at her. "You forgot the book of matches he has in his coat pocket."

Switch went wide eyed. "What?! Why on earth is he taking those? What's he going to do?"

Jester smirked. "He's going to pay respect to his mother," she opened the door and walked out while calling behind her. "And he's paying abuse to his father!"

Switch stood there in silence.

There was currently only one question in her head at the moment.

Where the heck was she going to question mark wrapping paper from?

THE END.


	10. Chapter 10 My secret

My secret. Switch is once again in it. Hop you like. This is how Riddler and Jester really met, even if he doesn't know it.

* * *

Gotham: 5 Years before Joker's surprise party.

* * *

Jessica Turner stood in the street staring up at the sky.

She was hoping to see _him_.

That was the only reason she was out on a cold December night. The night before Christmas.

It wasn't Santa she was looking for. It was the Batman.

Her sister said she was crazy, to even believe in such a thing.

But Jessica believed.

She was 10 years old.

Now you would think it odd for a ten year old to be out on the streets at such a late hour. But this was Gotham.

Jessica stood there still staring up at the sky wandering if she would see him.

Then she heard a noise.

She ran to the corner and looked round it.

What she saw almost mdd her heart stop.

It was _him_. It was the Bat.

He had his hand clamped around some poor guys throat and he was asking him something about data packs.

There was a word before it.

"Come on Jessica. Focos." she muttered to herself.

Egma? No that's not it. Nigma? No that's not it either E….. Enigma. That was it.

Jessica frowned. "But what the heck are Enigma data packs?"

Just then, Jessica heard something behind her.

She spun around only to have a hand pressed against her mouth and a man to hold a finger to his lips, telling her to be quiet.

Jessica stood there, staring up at him with wide eyes.

She heard a crunch of bones as the bat knocked the poor guy he was interrogating out. Then she heard the sound of a gun and the a woosh! as the bat left.

The man glanced down at her and hissed. "How much do you know about the Enigma data packs?"

Jessica swallowed as the man removed his hand.

She went to scream but he covered her mouth again and hissed. "If you try that again, I will kill you. You're probably an idiot any way, so not much to waist. So lets try this again. How much do you know about the data packs?!"

Jessica winced as his voice went up. "N-nothing. I don't know a single thing about the Enigma data packs."

The man narrowed his eyes at her. "Then how do you know what they're called?"

Jessica swallowed. "Because you just told me."

The man stared at her. "You- you smart mouthing little-"

Jessica raised an eyebrow.

The man had suddenly stopped in mid insult and rant.

He seemed to be studying her. "How old are you?"

Jessica blinked at the odd question. "Umm, I'm ten years old."

The man nodded hi head. "What's your name?"

"I'm not going to tell you that." snapped Jessica.

"And why ever not?" hissed the man.

"Because you haven't told me yours." said Jessica.

The man stared at her. "I'm Enigma."

Jessica frowned. "That sounds like a girls name." she muttered.

"I'll be changing it." snapped Enigma.

Jessica raised a questioning eyebrow. "Oh? To what?"

Enigma grinned. "The Riddler."

Jessica stared at him. "I think I prefer that one."

"What's your name?" asked Enigma or Riddler which ever you prefer.

"Twitch." said Jessica folding her arms.

"That's not your real name." said Enigma.

"Neither is Riddler or Enigma, yours." hissed Jessica.

Enigma sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Alright. You have a point. Now, you won't tell anybody you saw me. Especially the Batman."

Jessica swallowed. "What would happen if I did tell him I saw you?"

Enigma narrowed his eyes. "You don't want to know."

"Meaning you don't know what you're going to do to me." said Jessica with a sigh.

Enigma blinked at her. She was beating him at every sentence. What was this kid?

Enigma sighed. She's a very smart person and you know it.

Jessica stared at him for a long time.

Enigma smiled at her and pulled out of his pocket a green question mark statue.

Jessica went wide eyed. "That's beautiful." she whispered.

Enigma grinned. "Would you like it?" he asked her.

Jessica nodded.

Enigma handed her the trophy and smiled. "Well, I have to go. I have a lot of those to make for the Batman. I have a game planned for him and I can't be late for it."

Jessica smiled. "Good luck with your game." she said as he walked off.

Jessica stared at the glowing trophy in her hands. "I wonder if I'll ever meet Enigma again?"

* * *

Switch stared at Jester in shock. "That was you?"

Jester nodded. "Yep, Switchy. That was me."

"Does Riddler know?" asked Switch.

Jester shook her head. "No. He doesn't know and he doesn't need to know.

"Why haven't you told him?" asked Switch.

Jester grinned. "Because someone in this town has to know something he don't."

Switch grinned. She agreed with that.

THE END.


	11. Chapter 11 Ward against nightmares

Your ward against nightmares.

* * *

Jester had nightmares. She had them quite a lot.

She never really told Edward about them.

He knew she had them of course, he, as he often boasts, knows everything.

Jester was running down the old road to the crank toy factory.

She'd had a nightmare and she needed a friend.

When she got there she slammed her fists on the door as hard as she could.

It was opened by Bane.

The huge man looked down at the small girl and raised an eyebrow. "What do you want little one?"

Jester looked up at him. "A friend. If you've got one."

Bane smiled. "I have many wards against nightmares. Come and choose one."

Jester smiled and walked inside.

Bane followed her but he made the child look tiny compared to him.

Granted, Jester did look tiny when she was next to Waylon. Now that guy was big.

Bane walked over to the storage room and picked up all of the teddies that were there.

Jester smiled and picked out a green one with a small patch of purple fur.

Bane smiled. "I thought you would pick him. He's nice isn't he?"

Jester looked at the teddy and smiled. "He reminds me of me. The one that stands out from the crowd."

Bane smiled. "Yes. You need to get back to Riddler. I believe he will be worried about you."

Jester smiled and nodded. "You're right Bane. Thank you."

Bane smiled as the young criminal left the building. "It's alright little one." He walked over to an old teddy with an eye missing and smiled. "We all need a ward against nightmares.

THE END.


	12. Chapter 12 Fire starter

Twisted fire starter

Jester sat on a roof top, staring at the world which was now so boaring.

The thing that was missing… was chaos.

She looked around when all of a sudden an explosion ripped through the air.

Jester ran to the edge of the building she was on and stared out to see a huge fire engulfing a building.

"What in the world?" she muttered to herself.

"It's beautiful isn't it?"

Jester spun around to see Firefly hovering above her. "Simply beautiful."

Jester stared at him. "Yeah, sure, whatever you say Gar'"

"You don't seem impressed." said Firefly staring at her.

Jester glanced up at him. "I'm just ticked off because now the Bat will be heading over here and I just found a nice spot to be board at."

Firefly landed next to her and pulled his helmet off to revile burns and scars all over his face. "Well if the bat does come then you'll be entertained. I can burn him for you."

Jester sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "You really need to find yourself a girlfriend Gar'"

Firefly stared at her. "Why?"

Jester sighed. "Ya just do. I mean. Edward's got one even if he doesn't know it."

Firefly stared at her. "I think I'm just going to go."

Jester stared at him as he flew off.

Then she grinned to herself and looked at the time. "Gee, 10 minuets. My best score to date."

THE END.


	13. Chapter 13 He was wrong

He was wrong.

* * *

Jester was worried.

She didn't get worried very often but today she was flipping out with worry.

She sat in the rafters watching Edward, or the Riddler as he is now known as, as he drank down his 24th, yes you heard right his 24th shot of vodka.

Jester didn't know what was up but she was worried.

Edward didn't drink. It was as simple as that.

His tolerance…. if he had any, was low.

Jester had a higher tolerance than he did and she was 14.

She watched him from the rafters and she was almost at a point where she thought she would cry.

Edward wasn't like this. How had he sunk so low?

"What do you want Jester?"

Jester yelped in surprise at Edward's voice.

She looked down to see him looking up at her, his eyes were narrowed.

"I don't want you to be here. Leave." hissed Edward.

Jester shook her head. "I'm not leaving Edward. You're my friend and something is bothering you. Why in god's name are you drinking like there's no tomorrow?"

Edward sighed and downed his 25th shot. "It doesn't matter. Now leave."

"Edward. It does matter." Jester narrowed her eyes. "I don't want to leave so you can do anything…. stupid."

Edward laughed. But it was cold and bitter. "What are you talking about? I never do…. stupid things."

_Then how come you're in this place?_ Jester thought in her head as she jumped down from the rafters. "Don't treat me like a fool, Edward. I'm not one and you know that."

Jester pointed at his pocket which had a gun in it. "Give to me. Now!" she shouted.

Edward narrowed his eyes. "I deserve it."

Jester went wide eyed. "Edward. No one deserves to die alone. Especially by their own hands." she looked around the room and then looked back at him, heart broken. "You weren't even going to leave a note? To explain why you wanted to blow your oh so amazing brain to bits?"

Edward got up. "Jester. Who would care if I went? Come on, tell me. I think Gotham would pleased that I killed my self."

Jester walked up to him and slapped him.

Edward looked shocked.

Jester put her finger in his face and hissed. "Edward Simon Nashton, if you do not give me that gun this instant I will call the Bat! Give me the gun!"

Edward stared at her. "I'll give it to you….. if you can tell me one person who will miss me. Who, in this hell hole of a city cares about me!?"

Jester was shaking with anger and sadness. "ARE YOU BLIND!? I would miss you Edward! Do you hear me?! I would be upset! I would miss you! I care about you!"

She grabbed the gun and unloaded it before throwing it across the room and pocketing the bullets.

"You're like a brother to me! You're the only family I have left! Now will you tell me why exactly you were…. wait. That's it, isn't it? You tried to kill yourself because of your father."

Edward sat down on his seat. "He was right all along Jester. I'm nothing. No one's going to miss me. I'll just be another John Doe on the street. A nameless nobody."

"Edward. Your dad was wrong. He never understood you. He didn't see how brilliant you were, are for that matter!" Jester placed a hand on his shoulder. "Edward, the world wouldn't be the same without you."

Edward stared at her. "Don't you think the world will be a better place without me?"

Jester stared at him. "Edward. If you left, there would be no world for me. For Mist. For Enigma. Dear lord what would I tell her if you offed your self?!"

Edward stared at her. "Tell her I was a waist of space."

Jester slapped him again. "You father was wrong. You may not believe it Edward. But he was."

Edward looked at the floor.

Jester was close to tears. She had never seen Edward so beaten, so…. lost.

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Look. I need to go now, but I surges you get some rest. Yeah that's a good idea. Come on, lets get you to bed."

Jester helped him up and helped him to his room.

She lay him down and pulled the covers up to his chest.

"Please stay safe Edward." she said as she walked away.

Then she stopped and turned to him. "Edward. There's a knife in your draw. Give it to me."

Edward stared at her. "Jester. I'm a grown man!"

"A grown man who's drunk and who just tried to kill himself. Knife. Now!" shouted Jester as she held out her hand.

Edward pulled the knife out and gave to her.

She tucked it away and walked for the door. "Stay safe Edward and please get some rest."

Edward lay his head down as Jester shut the door.

Then the kid opened it again and hissed. "And if you do think about trying to kill yourself, ever again, leave. A. Note!"

Then she shut the door and stormed out of the hideout, but not before locking all of the dangerous stuff away and taking the key with her.

Then she was out into the cold air of Arkham City.

Honestly. If she didn't get shot, she would die from stress caused by Edward.

The man was a stress magnet.

The girl smiled and said to herself. "Yeah, but he's my stress magnet."

THE END.


End file.
